A few years ago I heard a man talking on radio about a distressing experience he had suffered. After it, he confessed, he had cried, which he regretted as he thought it a sign of weakness. What a contrast then to read (Mercury newspaper, October 23) that Sergeant John Shea had “unashamedly shed a tear” after successfully defusing the harrowing situation in Launceston when he and three police colleagues were shot. Crying, shaking, sweating, raging - in whatever the body needs to do - are natural and necessary parts of recovering from such an ideal. Unfortunately, these reactions are usually denied us by well - meaning “helpers” who urge us to “keep a stiff upper lip”, “have a drink (or other drug) to settle your nerves” or even “oh come on, you should be over it by now”. Even less helpful are the admonitions to boys “don’t be a sissy” or the even more horrifying “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about”.
The results of such suppression of emotions are complex and far reaching. People in the grip of a stressful situation lose the ability to think clearly. How often do you hear or see someone “paralysed by fear” or someone so angry that rational thought is impossible? That wonderful computer the brain is unable to handle the incoming information and file it properly in the memory; instead it is as if some of the “circuits” are “blanked out”. If the person is then denied the chance to talk through that event to a supportive listener and to feel and express the emotions involved then those circuits remain blanked out. This has two further consequences:
1. Similar situations will give rise to the same (panic?) reactions despite any differences in the new situation.
2. More and more “circuits” will become ” blanked out” leading to an increasing loss of ability to think clearly.
As a male who was sneered at for showing emotions when young (”cry-baby”) I can vouch for the damage done by societal attitudes.
When anger is perceived as the most acceptable emotion for males is it any wonder that incidents such as that in Launceston take place? I wish Sergeant Shea and his colleagues a full and speedy recovery from their trauma and congratulate them on their courage and clear thinking in resolving a very dangerous incident.
If you like "A distressing experience,"
please consider linking to this article: